On the drive home, leading up to my post on Cooking, I was pondering my life. I thought of the things I no longer own. When my ex took the kids and left our house, and I moved in to prepare it for sale, I saw what she had left me as my part of our assets (and all the cleaning and some repairs to prepare a large house for sale). Five truck loads to the second-hand store, a massive “going out of business” sale (AKA divorce), and five truck loads to the dump later, I fit the remainder in my one-bedroom apartment and a 10’x10′ storage unit, which a couple years ago I downsized to a 5’x10′.

I’ve thought often about the wealth I had and the wealth I have now. I’ve thought about the bondage I was in before and the liberty I have now.

I’m a better father and a better person. My “things” take less of my time. I seldom do yard work and house repairs. I’m not maintaining and buying, and trying to keep up with the neighbors. My time is spent writing, reading, learning, working, and while my children are here I’m 110% theirs, meaning that before they come I prepare ideas for things to do together, pre-prepare meals as much as possible, and pour my heart out to them in while I prepare for that magical time I walk in the door after work and they are sitting in my little apartment.

For the first time after 27 years of marriage I’m out of debt. I could pick up and leave at the drop of a hat, and not feel I’ve lost anything &helips; because I already lost it. I look at my friends and neighbors bound by mortgages and debt, and if not debt, by the responsibilities of owning lots of stuff. I feel sorry for them. I now have Dave Ramsey’s recommended six-month emergency fund. It took me six years of “beans and rice,” as he says, and scrimping. When I’ve twice been out of work in the past 15 years it was horrifying. Now if I lose my job, it will still be unnerving, but more peaceful. I have almost a year’s supply of the important foods for me and hopefully my younger children, and a source of clean water.

I’m not distracted by earthly things, and I’m free. Wealth, with or without debt, is some form of bondage.

My dear brothers in divorce, use this chance to become free.

Carl