See Elder Kevin R. Duncan’s, “The Healing Ointment of forgiveness.”

This morning I felt to open up the conference Ensign and flip through the pages until I felt to stop. My finger fell upon this article. What struck me most to me was the thought that I could be healed from the pain. What does it mean to be healed of the pain, and yet to remember? We hear often that we need to remember the past so we don’t repeat the mistakes. But how do we remember without feeling pain? Is that possible?!? How do you forgive someone when you are in the middle of the experience? Could Corrie ten Boom forgive her captors while she was in the concentration camp? Perhaps years later when feelings weren’t raw and she wasn’t in the midst of the cruel treatment?

Over recent months I’ve felt the need to forgive. But I don’t think my ex would even consider that she’d done anything that required someone to forgive her. Were I to tell her I forgive her, she would be confused. Is it still required to forgive in order to clear my plate, and create for me the freedom of her control over my feelings and thoughts.

Then my children come to visit and I’m reminded of the pain of having to say goodbye to my children when visiting hours are over. A continual reminder of her decision that broke up our family. How do I forgive with the offense is repeated weekly, or seems to be? Every child visit, every paycheck that has her fingers in it, every sorrow seems to be tied to her past decision.

Carl